Monday, April 27, 2009

Charlie's Lunch

This past weekend we went to a benefit dinner to raise money for an organization called Charlie's lunch, and Glory reborn.
Some really close friends of ours are involved with Charlie's lunch and they've been to Guatemala on several Mission trips with this organization. If you get a chance, take a minute to read about how Charlie's lunch got started here. It's such a sweet, wonderful story that took place in Guatemala several years ago.
Here's a couple pictures from that night.
Picnik collage
These two were so good during the whole event!!!
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Here's some Isaiah craziness!
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And some Abbie sweetness!
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And check out my new painting that I won in the silent auction! I LOVE it!!!
Does anyone recognize what church this is in Antigua? It looks familiar but I just cant figure it out.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Attachment...part two

So here's the second half of my attachment post. I don't want anyone to think Abbie is like this all the time because she is not. It is only rare, but very obvious moments. And to be honest...one happened last night. 

We went to a benefit dinner (I'll blog about it on next post) to benefit missions trips and one of Ray's friend's wanted to show off Abbie girl. Well, since Abbie is very nervous around men, Ray went along for the introductions. Well, before you know it Ray's friend handed Abbie right over to his wife. I was still at the table, noticed this and just took a big sigh. Once Abbie is with someone....forget it. It's a done deal. So, I gathered all my stuff and headed over to where they were. 

I explain to our friend that Abbie is having some issues and she, not knowing what it's all about, tells me... "it's okay" and sits down with her. So...rather than telling her..."give me back my child" I tell her Abbie needs to go the bathroom and I take her. Just as I thought... Abbie reaches out and cries away for her. I take her in the bathroom and after a couple minutes her whining she stops and we all head out to the parking lot to go home. Guess who's there?! Our friend that just held Abbie. Abbie again wants her back and they walk us to our car. We put Abbie in the car seat and everyone tells Abbie and Isaiah bye and gives kisses as normal. Abbie reaches out with one arm toward our friend and has a look of such sadness. it's so hard to explain. She never takes her eyes off of this women or the car as they drive away.  I just stood there and watched Abbie as this was happening. 

I can't even tell you the feeling that flowed through me as I watched this. 

As all this went on, Ray told me to try and get "the look" I had off me and we sat in the car and told Abbie we loved her and distracted her from whatever she was thinking at that moment. All was well again within a few minutes.

Here's a few things that's still happening but getting better as time goes on as well. 

Abbie gets nervous when we arrive at new places. For example we went out to eat and as we pull up Abbie takes a look at the restaurant and starts to whine. We have to tell her everything is all right and once she realizes EVERYONE is going in, all is fine.

If we go anywhere with out Isaiah she is nervous and she'll call out for him for several minutes and he reaches both arm towards the house for him. (we have noticed he is like a security blanket for her).

If we walk outside for a quick minute without her and she realizes...it's a full blown out screaming and crying fit.

You can tell when she is nervous because she starts biting her bottom lip and she starts scratching her belly or underarms.

I'm not telling you these things to make you feel sorry for her or us, I'm telling you because this is "real life" stuff that goes on. These poor kids that are left in orphanages are bringing unfair baggage home with them. What will happen to the kids that are left in these hogars that are over crowded, unloved and uncared for? The ones that don't or will never have a loving home?

Please don't think Abbie is walking around miserable or traumatized because she is far from it. She truly walks around swinging her arms in happiness and she just loves her new life. The simplest things makes her happy and she's constantly fascinated with all the new things she see and is doing better everyday.

I'm already looking into a few programs to put her in with one being a speech therapy class. Ray also bought a few books for me on attachment disorders and adopting older children. 

To be honest I never really thought about these things in our two year plus wait for Abbie. You would think I should of done this! Isaiah came home so young that he just fit right in with no problems. Abbie came home with the experiences of being ripped away (literally) from a fostermom at a year old, put in one hogar for a few months, taken away from that home to be put in another for over six months, then placed back in the original hogar until we came to pick her up. Throw in several visit trips from strangers (us) that loved on her for a short time and given back... you can see why she is having these issues.

Things will get better. I know that and one day these issues will just be a memory. We will take it one day at a time and our gatherings with others WILL get better. Ray and I talked about how we will handle people that are around her. From the get go we will explain the situation BEFORE any accidental "pick ups" happen.

I'll keep ya posted on our progress!!!
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Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Attachment Disorder/issues

This post has been sitting in my "edit posts" for a while now and I wondered if I should even publish it or not. Not that I want to hide it or anything like that but to be honest I don't completely understand it. It's very hard to explain and I'm not the best at expressing what I feel here blogging. But here we go...


I truly think Abbie has some Attachment disorders. At first when I experienced this was in the first week of bringing her home. We went to the zoo with a friend of mine and Abbie attached to her instantly. My first reaction was...My baby girl is so cute, I want everyone to think the same. She is a lovey dovey and people just love her back! But...when it was time to come back to me that day, she didn't want to.


At that time I was hurt and felt like I wasn't loving on Abbie enough (since she was new to being home) or that Abbie didn't love me like I thought she did. Why was she so attached to me a minute ago but now with my friend, she wants nothing to do with me?!


Then, the same happened with Ray's Sister. Two weekends in a row Auntie Sandra came over to love on Miss Abbie Girl and Abbie Loved every minute of it. Then, when it came time for Sandra to leave...Abbie would scream, cry and reach out for Sandra not to go. (Sandra loved this as well because she thought her new baby niece loved her to pieces and that she was the best Aunt EVER!) At this time I thought, "Okay.., at least we're related." I thought (and maybe it's true) it was because Auntie Sandra speaks Spanish to Abbie and she may feel comfortable around this?


And it continues. I take Abbie with me to a meeting at work. An employee wants to hold her...Abbie does not want to leave her. A little embarrassing.


We go to Easter dinner with a group of people. Abbie attaches right away to another friend. Auntie Sandra shows up to the same dinner. Guess what happens?! Abbie has already been loved on by someone else and not only does she not want me, but she does not want Auntie Sandra even though Auntie is doing EVERYTHING to get her to come to her.


At this point, I'm starting to catch on to the pattern and I explain to Sandra not to be hurt and I explain to my friend... don't feel special (I mean this in the nicest way! I know your reading this post. lol).


Now...I have learned since, or I have been told, what I'm doing wrong. Back up, not that I'm doing it wrong but what I could be doing to break this. Very simple but I guess so very true. I should not let anyone hold Abbie for several months. Only immediate family. I've been told six months is the average time especially for older children that's probably have never bonded with anyone in their short life. It does make total sense to me but when your having a melting point with another 2 year old that has been the center of your attention for over a year....it's very hard!


I'll end this post with telling you that Abbie is 100% totally in love with all of us, there's no question there at all. Unless you have experienced attachment disorders, it's very hard to explain. It's still hard but now I'm not getting my feelings hurt thinking Abbie doesn't love me the way I want her too.


There's more to tell but I'll break it off on another post.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Pickin and crying!!! Life is Good!!!

Here's one of my "real life" moments captured in a picture!
The other day Ray and I were lying in bed and Abbie girl and Little Man was in between us crying, fighting and just throwing fits! We both just kinda stared at them laughing and Ray looked over to me and said....
"Life is Good!"
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Have a great weekend!!!

Friday, April 17, 2009

Favorite Foto Friday ~ Wet

Here's  a few pictures of Abbie and Isaiah giving some "wet ones"!
Abbie is a kisser like no other!!! She asks for about 30 kisses a day! No lie!
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This was taken a couple weeks ago (before Abbie was potty trained!!!)
The weather here in Texas is wonderful. 80 degrees and sunny!!!
Still a little bit chilly to be running through the sprinklers but I had towels close by!!!
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To see more of fff...go check out Sarah's blog

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Easter Weekend (part two)

Easter Morning...
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I wish I had three hands. One to camcord, and the other two to take pictures!!!
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This picture pretty much says it all on it's own!
I love it!
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All dressed up and lots of places to go!!!
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We had brunch with friends and family at a beautiful restaurant in Old Mesilla.
They say this restaurant is haunted!!!
No ghosts today!!!
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Abbie Girl truly loves her brother!!!
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I can never get them posed at the same time!
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My handsome Little Man!

Monday, April 13, 2009

Easter weekend (part one)

This weekend was a non stop fun filled weekend.

Here's some pictures from Saturday and I'll post the Easter pictures tomorrow.

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We started the day off with an Easter Egg hunt

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Abbie was terrified of these guys and screamed every time we passed by them!

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Then we headed off to Peter Piper Pizza for lunch

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Here's Isaiah and our friend Amy in a serious game of air hockey!

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Then we headed to see Elmo!!!!

Abbie and Isaiah loved every minute of it!!! They danced away and watched the entire show!

Ray and I had fun watching them watch the show! We LOVE, LOVE, LOVE that we can share these things with Abbie now!


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Then we came home and fixed up our eggs!!!
I think they turned out so cute!

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Sunday, April 12, 2009

Let Us not forget............

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On this joyous day of bunnies, tons of candy and colored eggs, let's take a minute to reflect on the true meaning of Easter. Instead of the one Hallmark and Walgreen's has shoved down our throats. Today is the day our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ rose from the grave to fulfill prophecy and our secure our salvation. "Behold, we are going to Jerusalem, and the Son of Man will be betrayed to the chief priests and to the scribes; they will condemn Him to death, and deliver Him to the Gentiles to mock and to scourge and to crucify. And on the third day He will rise again." Matt 20: 18-19  Well guess what today is? It's actually the remembrance of the Third Day and the Risen Christ; not a celebration of the Easter Bunny, enjoy Easter with  your children eat all the candy you want, but please let's not forget the true reason for the holiday. This is the first post I have ever written but this is something that weighs on my heart every Easter and something I wanted to say. Let me close with the most famous verse from the Bible: For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16 Such beautiful words, I don't think anyone has ever given us such a wonderful promise and please remember that God would have sent His Son just for you if you were the only one who needed Him.

Happy Easter,

Ray & Terri

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Saturday, April 11, 2009

Bad hair day!

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I was experimenting with Abbie's hair and as you can tell... this didn't work! I left a few rolled up little buns in her hair over night which resulted in a fro! 
Tonight I will try rollers!

Busy day ahead for us.
We are off to an Easter egg hunt and bbq this morning and then tonight....ELMO!!!!!
I bought tickets for us to go watch Elmo's Street Live!!!! Yay!!!!!!



Thursday, April 9, 2009

Love, love, love these!!!

First off...how cute are these socks?! These socks ROCK!!!
Lynda, they're so darn cute! I love them all!
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Also check out these pillow case dresses! Right now they're on sale for $10.00 and you can get them monogrammed for free!
( Leslie, you got me hooked on Etsy! lol)
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SO... I'm REALLY thinking of going on the Gathering of Hearts get together in Indy! How cool would it be for all the kids to get some matching outfits or some of these cute dresses with our kiddo's name on it?!
Just a thought! The girl that made these dresses Monograms clothes for 
boys and for girls
(who's planning on going on this trip?)

My next two Internet purchases will be some new bows for Abbie from Cutie Patutu's! Mary Ann makes awesome bows and Tutu's for little girls!

I also love, love, love the handmade clothes made by Suz!
So cute!

So much to buy!!! I need to hit the lottery!!!
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And do you think I could do a post with pictures and not include my little Guat tots?!

By the way... I read a blog, not to long ago, that the term Guat Tot is not very well liked among a few adoptive parents! As you can tell....I disagree!
I think it's cute!